THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE (But Pubs Expect Us To Do)
2: Carry more than two drinks to your table.
Three pints of lager and a J20 cannot be transferred from the bar to your thirsty mates without spillage. It’s not as if most pubs don’t have trays; it’s just that they never offer them to you. The result? By 8.30pm, the floor of the pub looks like it’s been mopped with piss.