As loathe as I am to continue this interuption (though I cannot say I am altogether proud of my antics in The Pub Of Sexism), the reason only men scab fags is that the ladies they are with ask them to do it. Ask in that “Twelve Tasks Of Hercules Before You Are Allowed In My Knickers” way. I am not a smoker, yet I am quite often sent to collect smoking sticks from other pub punters. I’ll always go for a bloke out of earshot, explain the situation and will come off usually successful.

This is why you should never scab (or tap) fags off of ladies. Any excuse will not be good enough, they’ve worked for these fags god-damn it, and you as a hunter gatherer should have killed enough in the field to sate you. This approach certainly will not work:
“Bung us a fag, I’ll have a guaranteed shag” Even if it does rhyme.

Now, back to the fate of Magnus….