Stern warnings in pubs. The Swan – a hithertoo rather pleasant drinking hole on the booze hound heaven twenty yards that is Cosmo Place has taken to placing the following signs on some of their tables.

“This table reserved for four or more people eating”.

This edict is thoroughly ignored by myself, alone for a good twenty minutes and then ignored after the arrival of Mr & Mrs McGhee. For two reasons I suspect we did not trust its autheticity. Firstly the sign was made of a bit of forest green paper written on – badly – in blue chalk. I would guess pool cue chalk, except the Swan is bereft of poolers. Secondly, and far more importantly – it is wrong. You drink in pubs, there is certainly no priority for eaters. We wanted to sit back and shoot the breeze, and the staff rightly noted this and ignored my scary visage.

Much fun was then had transporting said sign to a table which could only seat two people. Stop this trend from spreading…