borisb Welcome to the Group E finale! Here’s how things stand.

France (managed by Jessica) have qualified with 6 points, and will top the group unless they come last here.

Honduras (managed by Kat) have 3.5 points. They will definitely qualify if they come first or second, and may do even if they don’t.

Switzerland (managed by Mullah Rezmat) have 1.5 points. They need to go for the win here and hope Honduras screw up.

Ecuador (managed by Meghan) have 1 point. They also need to go for the win and hope Honduras screw up.

To the songs and votes!

FRANCE: Charlotte Gainsbourg – “Terrible Angels”

“First of all, the French coach would like to credit able assistant coach Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy, who advised going with the Indila/Black M formation rather than making Indila run the ball all by her lonesome. Now in a safe spot, despite hard fights from the opponents, the coaching staff is retreating to plan strategies for the knockout round and trusting the pitch to a veteran. The result is either the worst combination of French complacency and Scientologist hooey, or the best possible soundtrack for walking down the middle of the street, alone, at 3 am with your head held high.”

HONDURAS: JCP y Fresh ft Jowell – “A Poca Luz 2”

“It’s now or never for the Hondureñas: time to bring out ‘Los Fabulosos’! JCP and Fresh are a heavy-scoring upfront partnership, happy to put the hard grind into the club leagues but also teaming up well with Jowell and the rest of the national squad on the big occasions (or indeed, on pretty much any occasion). Here they are recalling the time the floodlights at the ground blew out and they had to entertain a large contingent of female fans in the dark. By dressing up as vampires.”

SWITZERLAND: Boris Blank – “Random Tox”

“We flowed down, we stilled time, we are the pulsing air in you. Helvetica Bold.

Shaping You a New Space Hole”

ECUADOR: Fabrikante – “Chanteoma”

“Ecuador is abandoning all flights of fancy, and playing it safe on the final round by consulting a strategy analyst and then following their advice precisely.”


E3: Which TWO Tracks Do You Pick? [ballot]

  • SWITZERLAND: Boris Blank 31%
  • ECUADOR: Fabrikante 31%
  • FRANCE: Charlotte Gainsbourg 22%
  • HONDURAS: JCP y Fresh ft Powell 16%

Total Voters: 42

Poll closes: 15 Apr 2014 @ 14:00

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RESULTS: Japan comfortably top Group C thanks to a dominant performance from one of their star players, winning the final group game with a solid margin. Cote D’Ivoire can’t quite pull away from Colombia but that high-scoring draw is enough to send them through in second place and 5.5 points. Colombia have endured a torrid campaign but can end it with some honour restored by their veteran striker. Greece, meanwhile, have a nightmare after their excellent second game, ending up third in the group after failing to pick up any points here. Commiserations to David Cooper Moore and Billy Dods, congratulations to Garry and Patrick St.Michel. Final standings: 1. Japan – 7 points. 2. Cote D’Ivoire – 5.5 points. 3. Greece – 3 points. 4. Colombia – 2.5 points.