DUEL! 2002 — Round 1 Match 12

Duel! 2002 Round 1 Match 12

Which Of These Bands Are Worse?
Moldy Peaches

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Two Duel!s in a row? Crikey, could the feature actually be getting back on schedule? We shall see. Meanwhile here’s today’s first-round match-up, between two of the most venerated bands of recent times. Some people love Mogwai because they make experimental music: now I’m all for experimental music but why does it have to be the same bloody experiment every time? Especially when the experiments were all done ages ago by Sonic Youth and Slint, and when the results are very well known i.e. the music makes you grumpy and your ears droop. Mogwai stand out from the back-slapping ATP no-fun crowd only inasmuch as they make louder noises than anyone else about how shit all other music is.

Mind you if they slagged off the Moldy Peaches they’d have a point and a half. ‘Who’s Got The Crack?’ is quite simply the worst record made by anyone so far this millennium — a crossbreed of ‘Because I Got High’ and ‘Where’s Me Jumper?’ played on a broken guitar by two gimps in animal suits. The counterculture is in a fucking sorry state if ‘anti-folk’ is the best it can cough up — listen listen they’re singing about blow jobs and drugs! Time to drop any pretence of bipartisanship here – I would love it if Moldy Peaches won Duel! 2002 but they probably won’t, damn it — do an old man a favour though and get them through to round 2.

YESTERDAY’S RESULTS — Coldplay 77% : Weezer 23%

Not much of a surprise here as Coldplay glide through into the second round, helped on their way by some comments from you:

‘A Poem for Duel:

Go away

Thank you.’

‘both are MOR schlock now, but at least weezer has a past to hang on to. Coldplay was born to be AOR.’

‘bands who try to be wacky are cockfarmers.’

‘You are having a laugh, right? It’s Coldplay, by a country mile, the Green Album may be stinky, but Pinkerton is a classic. I mean Coldplay even apologise for their rotten songs…”I never meant to cause you trouble”, it’s okay, don’t worry, just hand over your instruments, and we’ll not mention it anymore.’

‘weezer is far worse in that, in my opinion, they used to be a great band. blue and pinkerton captured teen angst brilliantly, the shift to green was just debilitating. coldplay? don’t fancy them much, but don’t feel seering hate neither.’

‘They whine about things going yellow –> They must be fed to the wolves.’

‘America will be incapable of producing good indie music as long as it refuses to see how shit Weezer are. If you like Weezer you are a twat and probably like the White stripes too.’

‘Coldplay Coldplay Coldplay. Who knew that Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” would beget Travis would beget Coldplay (would beget STARSAILOR, an act almost causing one to regret the Allied victory in WWII.)’

‘This duel has everything to do with what side of the Atlantic you’re on. Now if only both bands were under the Atlantic…’