DUEL 2002! — Round 1 Match 11

Duel 2002 – Round 1 Match 11

Which Of These Two Bands Is Worse?

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Over to Pete for the lowdown on these combatants:

‘Songs about spies, parachutes and custard (well it is all Yellow)- that’s what we expect from Coldplay. Tedium, boy-next door angst – but no so much that you might consider self harming – rock is also what we expect from Coldplay. Four non-descript chancers who saw a gap in the market for being blander than Travis – that’s what we expect from Coldplay. The unexpected – well we don’t expect that so I think we’ll be seeing ver ‘Play in the next round of Duel.

Except – oo-ee-oo its those Buddy Holly lookalikes Weezer who provide ample opposition. Perhaps it is harsh to judge them upon their 1995 geek rock classic since they have matured and become a serious rock band. But hey – that video with the Fonz. You wanted to punch ’em then, are you really trying to tell me you don’t want to punch ’em now? Like Hash Pipe was a great step forward in maturity anyway.’

LAST RESULTS: U2 64% – Ryan Adams 36%

A plucky stand by the alt-country troubadour against the highly fancied U2 but really there can be only one winner and Bono’s procession to round 2 is assured. Here’s what you had to say:

‘U2 is the clear winner. Ryan’s aural sins are commited at the cafe level, whereas U2’s are nearly inescapable. Furthermore, Ryan strives to recreate another group’s past (arguably the process all rock artists work at), while U2 struggle to recreate their own past, a sure sign to STOP.’

‘if bono changes sunglasses one mroe time, im gonna need a colastomy bag.’

‘Ryan Adams is no good. Actually, I’ve never heard anything by him. But I’m unconvinced by the idea that he is the saviour of sports country, or that sports country is in any sense worth saving. And I like a lot of music by U2. So Ryan, you’re going down.’

‘Until someone is able to convince me of the existance of ONE decent Ryan Adams song, I maintain he is worse than U2. Sad as it may seem, 50 years from now, U2 will be widely remembered (ugh, even fondly by some people). Ryan Adams is forgettable and I only heard that stupid New York song of his 5 minutes ago and I can’t recall a damn thing about it.’

‘who’s ryan adams? u2 tries to save rock (again!). they lose.’

‘I have heard perhaps 3 mintues of ryan adams, no more. this is enough to really not care about his existence. I only care more about u2 because they make me sing along after I have heard their songs a thousand times.’

‘Bono represents everything that is stupid and vile… and quite possibly the stupidest man on earth. It doesn’t help that they haven’t had a decent tune that wasn’t lifted from A-ha in nearly 20 years.

Ryan Adams doesn’t fry my burger, but I just can’t care about him either way.’

‘New York, New York sucks. But go out and get Heartbreaker. Its brilliant, and sounds very little like the overproduced, over-elton johnd Gold. Listen to the song “come pick up” and then let me hear your opinion.’