Not sure if this is real news to anyone, but Sarah’s snarkery regarding Bond Girls going P!O!P! (or attempting such an explosion) gives us a perfect opportunity to look at the lovely and overexposed Ms. Beyonce Giselle Knowles. The press at large would have you believe that DC = the Supremes, with Ms. Jelly (Giselle? Jelly?) slipping on the gloves of the one & only Ms. Diana Ross. Befitting these fast-moving times in which we live & spend, Beyonce’s decided to completely skip the “Lady Sings The Blues” / “I am a serious actress” portion of the music/movie crossover experience, to do that voodoo that she do so well (in “MTV’s Hip-Hopera Carmen”, which actually didn’t do the voodoo too well, unless you prefer your voodoo to stink like doo-doo, and your hip-hop to die a slow death like Blondie’s martians eating cars) on her way to setting up CAMP! (as Foxy Cleopatra). Gor blimey, guv. If, in five years, her acting bug gets her laid up in some Lifetime movie starring Vanessa Williams and Tina Yothers about a young pop star whose career is deralied by an unwanted pregnancy fathered by an abusive stock-trading wino clone … I don’t think ANYONE could handle that.

Last year, I was with you every step of the way, B – “Independent Women”, “Survivor”, “BOOTYLICIOUS”. (Dear God, “BOOTYLICIOUS”!) I should’ve known, when that ass remix of “Bootylicious” hit the TV, that something brown & stanky was aiming for a fan. (And then you went and PERFORMED the REMIX LIVE! Oh, girl…) From there, the landslide was inevitable – that Bee Gees song, the hip-hopera, the Christmas album (oh, girl…), and now DC going AWOL. It’s like watching Mariah Carey bloom and blossom into a ficus tree – it’s scary, it’s scraggly, and it will take a lot of work to make that thing look remotely palatable. “Butterfly” my ass – we’re talking gypsy moths here. If Ms. K isn’t careful, there might be a DDT cocktail in her future.

But, I digress. Would anyone care to take aim at Ms. Spears or Ms. Moore?