One Night In Bangkokm being patronised.
“Will you come with us?”
“Do I have any choice?”
“No Madam.”
And so I ended up in police custody in hideous Monaco.


When Monaco asked “What Do You Want From Me” way back in 1995, I expect they did not think they would get a five page missive from me telling them exactly what I wanted them to do. Clearly some of the pages were simply me writing “I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP” in blood of the various members of OMD. However there was a slightly more detailed argument that I will essay here.

“What I want from the band Monaco (apart from them to shut up which is a given).
1) I want you to be better than Revenge, a band whose name describe exactly what they were to anyone stupid enough to buy their records.
2) I want you not to sound like New Order. Completely. Like Barney Sumner had not fucked off taking Prozac to help him write lyrics (!!! Imagine how Prozac would help???)
3) I want you to perhaps not be underpinned by the same twangy bass sound that you, Mr Peter Hook, do in every record you make.
4) I want you, Mr Peter Hook, not to say fook in every interview with the NME.
5) I want you, Mr Other Bloke In Monaco, to stop deluding yourself that this is not just a worthless side project put together by Hooky because Barney couldn’t get out of bed, or was off playing with Johnny Marr
6) I also want you, Mr Other Bloke In Monaco, to perhaps think about Ian Curtis and what he did and if there are any lessons to be learned for your life
7) Did I mention SHUT UP?”