Walking down the street on the way to the pub the other day, I notice a big poster for an upcoming Thunderbirds film. As a youth I rather enjoyed the works of Gerry Anderson, theme-tunes notwithstanding, I found his childish simplicity and vision of a better world (of rockets) to be rather beguiling. A further examination of this poster however revealed that
a) This film was live action
b) Started a kid who looked like he was in Busted!
c) Had a theme-tune by Busted!
A shiver went down my spine as this fact opened a hitherto closed closet in my mind. As far as I was concerned Thunderbirds already had a thoroughly wretched theme tune already. Not only that but if they wanted a pop version, there was an equally terrible song from the eighties by Fuzzbox. Which fit in the category of songs about puppets – a short feature which hopefully will count as some form of therapy.
So International Rescue then. By Fuzzbox. Formerly We’ve Got A Fuzzbox And We’re Gonna Use It. Formerly We Haven’t Got A Fuzzbox Yet But People Say If We Get One It Might Go Some Way To DIstracting The Listener From Out Piss-Poor Singing And Songs. Formerly Class 5B at Dudley Grammar.
Fuzzbox went POP with International Rescue, a song about a fictional rescue operation. Ironically it was the listeners rather than Fuzzbox themselves who needed rescuing, the song being a tuneless repetitive dirge, wher ethe previous indie as fuck Fuzzbox tried to sell records by showing they were pretty girls. As it happened they weren’t all that pretty and their silly hair put people off. The reason International Rescue was a hit therefore can be put down to the fact that the girls all wore hats when performing it. Like the Thunderbirds. Which did bring up the horrifying idea that if a giant bridge collapsed, rather than the Tracy brothers swooping it save you, four Brummie musicians would be in charge. We’ve Got Thunderbird Two And We’re Gonna Use It. Whoops, just dropped the middle section on the bridge, accidentally killing everyone. This is assuming that as an ultra secret rescue organisation, Fuzzbox would be as competant as they were musicians. You exile them to Thunderbird 5 and send them spinning into the sun for all I care.