Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2018: #20-#11

FT9 comments • 942 views

“Howdy! It’s me, Pizza Rat! You may remember me as the heartwarming if somewhat unhygienic meme from 2015, back in the days before… some stuff happened. Don’t ask me what though, the average lifespan for a rat is about 2 years so given my high cholesterol diet I’m likely to be dead now! But as I’m such an inspiring motivational figure I will throw out a prediction for you all: I bet those great pictures of Pluto, taken on the edge of our solar system in a feat of technical endeavour, will have inspired humanity to look outwards to the stars rather than squabbling amongst yourselves, and world peace will be well on its way! Plus I hear that David Bowie has been making an album on the hush-hush? That’s sure to be good!”

Another cheerful intro message, thanks Pizza Rat. Let’s see how #20-#11 turned out:

20. Dream Themes – “Grandstand”

I must abide by the will of the people by regardless of the narrowness of the margin etc. If you’re not familiar with light entertainment juggernaut Dream Themes, they play instrumental television themes to a loyal audience of fans who tend to shout out things like “Do Lovejoy!” and “I’m going to the bar do you want anything?” If you *are* familiar with Dream Themes then well done on collaborating with your fellow fans to ensure this sporting great got a Top 20 placing.

19. Charlie Puth & Kehlani – “Done For Me”

Ah but what has he done for you late-leeey? There’s a bit of a Hall & Oates vibe to this duet which is a damn sight better than the Maroon-5-style whingeathon I had assumed it was going to be on paper.

18. Rayvn Lenae – “Sticky”

One of my absolute faves from this year, proper filthy R’n’B with a bassline that wraps its legs right round you. The sort of song that Biggie Smalls would have sampled if it had been released 40 years earlier.

17. Helena Hauff – “Hyper-Intelligent Genetically Enriched Cyborg”

Always good to see some space battle techno in the list, even better when it’s got a corkscrew acid squiggle for a hook. I saw Helena do a very banging live DJ set at BlueDot Festival last summer where she was quite flagrantly ignoring the ‘no smoking’ signs in the tent.

16. Sigrid – “Sucker Punch”

Sigrid has bunked off her P.E. lesson, but has a cunning plan – nicking one of those foil blankets they give you after marathons, rocking up to the finish line and pretending she’s done the whole cross-country run.

15. Childish Gambino – “This Is America”

Cracking video (featuring plenty of what I believe is called ‘imitable behaviour’ – personally it just makes me want to jump on the roof of a car) and a striking musical switcheroo from the Staunton Lick to Mezzanine and back again. Well done Donald.

14. Mitski – “Nobody”

Piano indie that spirals off into a bizarre knees-up. I don’t even understand enough about what is going on in the video to make a joke about it?

13. Janelle Monáe ft Grimes – “Pynk”


12. Janelle Monáe – “I Like That”

OK this one is slightly more subtle. Speculation on what ‘that’ refers to is futile, the matter having been solved many decades ago by Mr. M Loaf, however the mystery remains why Janelle is following a ‘chain-s-saw’.

11. Azealia Banks – “Anna Wintour”

Handbags in all senses of the word, including Ibiza house. 2018 saw Azealia use her lack of filter for the benefit of humankind (possibly) and more incredibly, actually release a decent record. Progress!

Top 10 coming soon!


  1. 1
    lockedintheattic on 16 Jan 2019 #

    Apparently Azealia Banks originally had Scary Spice & Nicki Minaj in mind to do the shouty/rappy bits of Anna Wintour. I’m glad she didn’t pursue that as is wonderful throughout – best thing she’s done since 212

    Sucker Punch has the chorus of the year. Bloody massive.

    Love all of the rest too, this is a very good list.

  2. 2
    cryptopian on 16 Jan 2019 #

    Agreed. Lots of great new stuff here. After discovering Nobody, I’m definitely checking out the rest of Be The Cowboy. Best use of a key change I’ve heard in a while, and everyone loves a sad bop.

    Votes from me for Charlie Puth (after recording Marvin Gaye, someone I never thought I’d ever have any love for) and Pynk (what does Grimes even do on this track?).

  3. 3
    Rory on 17 Jan 2019 #

    I discovered Be the Cowboy just after Christmas, hiding away at the top of an Albums of the Year list, and played it to death over the break. Would have put 2-3 songs from it on my votes list if I hadn’t already sent it in, and “Nobody” would have been only third, so you’re in for a treat, Cryptopian.

  4. 4
    Weej on 18 Jan 2019 #

    Dream Themes includes Paul Guided Missile doesn’t it? Anyway, two minutes weren’t wasted, thumbs up.
    I have heard talk that Charlie Puth is no longer an abomination, on this evidence, yeah, hm, ok, still don’t love it.
    Rayvn Lenae – both backing and voice are stunning, shame I forgot to vote for it!
    Helena Hauff track is v.good but I get tired of it after four minutes or so.
    Voted for Sucker Punch, one of the sounds of the year for me.
    I climbed on top of my childminder’s car when I was 8, her husband was so unhappy with the dent in the roof that I had to get a new childminder. Childish Gambino video is absolutely one of the moments of the year and should be here, especially for me as it came along just when I was sifting through the racist pop music from the early 1900s he’s referencing.
    Kind of afraid to say I still don’t really get Mitski, it’s not like it’s bad but something about it just doesn’t really grab me.
    Two Janelle Monae tracks, but not the two I (may have) voted for, suspect we’ll be encountering both of those soon.
    Azaelia Banks track is good, first time have said that in a while, that video though?! Yeah, her Elon Musk thing was hilarious, but wonder if she is still supporting Trump?

  5. 5
    Mark M on 18 Jan 2019 #

    Hooray! Something I actually voted for – I Like That. My favourite Monáe track of all, I think. It’s got the right mixture of swooniness of sound and other textures. Lyrics work for me, too, and I say that as someone for whom the words are often both irrelevant and indistinguishable.

    Familiar with: Pynk, Sticky, This Is America (more of an event than an actual song for me – and I’m much more convinced by Glover on TV and film than on record), Anna Wintour (I like the shouty and rap bits, not so much what comes before). Also Sucker Punch, which I didn’t think I knew, but I do – I’m fine with it until the chorus, then not.

  6. 6
    Steve Mannion on 19 Jan 2019 #

    Not really a fan of Azealia Banks singing but ‘Movin’ On Up (Coco’s Song) – from a film she starred in – is the best thing I’ve heard by her since ’212′, sampling Kicks Like A Mule’s ‘The Bouncer’ but with a bunch more ideas besides that and a great reminder of her MC chops.


  7. 7
    Garry Mck on 24 Jan 2019 #

    I heard none of these before but the Rayvn Lenae is great and Dream Themes is the sort of local wonderfulness I love.

    The rest do nothing for me, but the songs of Banks, Monáe haven’t been my forte. On paper I should love the Helena Hauff’s track as it takes me back what I heard in my college days in the 90s, but I find it a little dry. (We used to get a syndicated radio show called The Digital Dream from University Radio Bath with wonderful electronic oddness. How it got a rural NSW uni station I never knew.)

  8. 8
    jeff w on 26 Jan 2019 #

    Didn’t vote for any of these but really pleased to see Ravyn here – had no idea her EP had wide appeal.

    Jeremy Clarkson & co’s version of “Grandstand” was obv rendered instantly redundant (if it wasn’t already) when the KPM Allstars reformed in late 2018.

  9. 9
    Emma Smith on 26 Dec 2021 #

    Just because nursing is all about caring for patients, knowing medical terminology, and following procedures, you’d be wrong. As a nursing student, it’s critical to improve your writing skills to strengthen your relationship with your patient and effectively communicate the essentials. But often i haven’t time and search who can write my nursing paper for me

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