Hi, I’m Lauryn Hill circa my breakthrough role in Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit, and it is a real pleasure to be able to present to you the top ten FreakyTrigger tracks of the year. When my mother told me I couldn’t join the choir run by a fake nun, I got really surly and pouted a lot – which some of you may recognise from my recent career. Later in the film I stepped up to the plate and delivered this inspirational, hip as 1993 could ever be, version of Joyful Joyful. But enough of my career highlights, back to the FreakyTrigger top ten of 2011.
Its a real privilege to reveal to you that this top ten is entirely female, so much so that I might be inspired, much like Whoopi Goldberg inspired me in Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit to make a comeback and win next year. I’ve got a soup tureen full of Grammy’s you know.
10. Nicola Roberts – ‘Lucky Day’
For chrissakes put some trousers on woman:
9. tUnEyArDs – ‘Bizness’
I’m listening to WhoKill as I’m typing up this list, and “Bizness” is definitely the best track on it. Well done, voting public! If you haven’t heard any tUnEyArDs yet then watch the video, it’s a corker.
8. Nicola Roberts – ‘Beat of My Drum’
Along with Gaga and Katy B, Nicola suffered badly from a split vote across many songs, though I’m sure Team Ginge will be consoled by having two songs in the top 10. Video AGAIN features inadvisable fashion choices but at least those are sensibly shaped pants she’s got on:
7. Beyonce – ‘Countdown’
This year I watched Beyonce’s 90-minute Glastonbury set, enthralled, but it was only later that I really appreciated how good it was. Not only can she holler and dance at an unbelievable level, she can do it while she has morning sickness. I am starting to think Beyonce may actually be a new evolved species of superhuman.
6. Robyn – ‘Call Your Girlfriend’
FT Reader Favourite Robyn was in the lead during the early stages of voting, but eventually had to be satisfied with 6th.
5. Nicki Minaj – ‘Super Bass’
If Nicki hadn’t released this song then she probably would have been relegated to Guest Rapper status for the rest of eternity. Thankfully this has been avoided!
4. 2NE1 – ‘I Am the Best’
Tireless efforts by Frank Kogan and the Singles Jukebox crew have finally made Korean pop much more than a curiosity for us ignorant westerners this year. Non-ugly girlgroup 2NE1 have only been going a few years but they are the cream of the K-pop crop and BLIMEY don’t they know it.
3. Nadia Oh – ‘Taking over the Dancefloor (Kate Middleton)’
My personal favourite! If you’ve not heard or seen anything of Nadia’s before, have a look at this. Go on, it’s only 90 seconds long. What’s the worst that could happen?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9nda8X6sOU
2. Lana Del Rey – ‘Video Games’
‘Divisive’ might be one word to describe Miss Del Ray this year, but it seems that plenty of you lot are fond of the ol’ Pong (or Playstation, whatever).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO1OV5B_JDw
1. Azealia Banks – ‘212’
Well clear of the field with 199 points to Lana’s 149 and Nadia’s 147 we have sweet little ‘street urchin’ Azealia Banks, who has done alarmingly well considering ‘212’ only fully emerged in the last few months of the year. Here she is – make sure the kids are out of the room…
There we go! Thanks again to everyone who voted – see you next year!