…Tesco’s Finest Greek Olive spread.

I hate Tesco for making terrible, flavourless food and being ten minutes closer to my work than Sainsburys, thus far more likely to be my despondent lunch venue of choice but this is basically like a great big greasy lump of olives on your toast. For the lactose intolerant, it’s bad enough trying to find something with flavour but the awesome fattiness of this is currently ensuring that, after two small slices’ coverage, I find my hair sticking to my forehead with the sheer grotesque quantities of axle lubricant. And by that I definitely don’t mean the repulsive congealed mayonnaise you get in M&S sandwiches, this is more of a serious, industrial undertaking to squash a million delicious olives into one tiny pot of pale paste. It’s like Vitalite FOR MEN.

Truly, my life is very empty. Here is a link to a thing about this delicious thing.