Somehow we ended up discussing this in the pub last night and so I have been spurred into an uncharacteristically coherent posting.

Frozen peas are one of the most important foods of the modern age. No, listen, right; they’re technically a pulse so they contain protein and also they are green so they contain vitamins, maybe even some fibre. They’re good to eat AND good to put on your ankle after hilarious sports-related injuries at school. They are, in many ways, the ultimate super food and most importantly, they’re about 74p a bag.

Not only are frozen peas a cheap and easy answer to, say, ‘this lazy curry I’ve made looks a bit dull, what can I put in it that isn’t red?’ Or ‘am I going to feel guilty if I just eat fish and chips?’ Or ‘what can I eat this massive pat of butter with?’ They’re also ALWAYS THERE. If you’ve been living somewhere more than two weeks you can guarantee a bag of frozen peas will have developed, like frost-crust, down the back of your freezer. In this sense, they are the cheapest of all foods insofar as consciously buying them appears to be totally unnecessary.

Frozen peas can validate any meal. Eating rice and Marmite, you carb-loving saltlick? Stick some frozen peas in and it’s HEALTHY. Strangely tempted by that jar of mint sauce that’s been sitting at the back of the fridge for awhile? Lavish it onto your frozen peas and it’s GOURMET. All you’ve got left in the cupboard is a can of Lidl spaghetti hoops? Insert frozen peas and one of those plastic-wrap cheese slices and it’s sort of like a LASAGNE.

Hrmm well possibly no it’s not but the point is that before the insertion of frozen peas, a lot of cheap, cheap food can be the sort of ‘JUNK FOOD DIET SHOCK HORROR’ that the Daily Mail would love but as soon as you’ve added the good, honest pea then these things become simple, wholesome* meals made by people just trying to scrape by, rather than too lazy/drunk go to the supermarket. Although actually the top frozen pea recipe is thus:

Handful of frozen peas

Put frozen pea in mouth, suck it until it melts, enjoy its sweet and crunchy flavour.


*Ok, not the Lidl spaghetti hoops. Never the Lidl spaghetti hoops. You can get the peas stuck in the hoops, though, making ALIEN PLANETS which are clearly far better than being wholesome.