Jay-Z Meets a Big Issue Seller outside Camden Town Tube
I was informed by email this morning that our good friend Shawn Carter was to play a short notice gig (a week on thursday) at the Roundhouse. Tickets are £50 each and go on sale tomorrow if you are a member of the Roundhouse and Friday morning if you’re not, 4 per household…
Of course (much like his famous glastonbury visit before he played), this isn’t the first time he’s been to NW1, and his last visit was a bit, how you say, problematical:
Jay-Z has spent too much time in the Good Mixer with Menswe@r and consquently bought some tacky weed paraphernalia, a tie-dye shirt and a big floppy hat from Camden Market.
Jay-Z thought he was getting a ticket to David Byrne’s Playing The Building, when actually he foolish agreed to actually Play The Building.
Jay-Z can’t walk up the flipping High Street as there are too many GOTHS in the way!
Jay-Z told Nas to text him when they’d agreed on a pub to meet in but he hasn’t.
Jay-Z forgot that the tube was exit-only on Sundays
Jay-Z is finding the drug-dealers outside Camden Town Tube a tad intimidating.
Jay-Z is disappointed that there are seemingly no Agatha Christie books in the charity shops along Mornington Crescent and thinks that Ma$e is five minutes ahead of him and snapping them up before he can get the chance.
Jay-Z has ended up in the World’s End and he’s having to stand up next to a really small table and he can’t hear what Nas and Kanye are talking about and he’s having to drink Stella.
The incense that Jay-Z bought from the Lock market is making him feel a bit… funny.
Jay-Z is trying to sell a promo copy of Blueprint 3 in the Music And Video Exchange and he hasn’t got any ID with his address on.
Jay-Z is concerned about the funny smell in the Dublin Castle.
Jay-Z is drinking by himself because the bouncers wouldn’t let Lil Wayne into the Underworld.
Jay-Z is flicking through the live bootleg tapes on the table infront of him, but can’t remember if he already has the one he wants on CD somewhere.
Jay-Z has lost Beyonce somewhere in the Lock Market and now he’s very confused and a bit teary and seems to have ended up in the stables
Jay-Z doesn’t want to eat in Wagamama AGAIN but that burger stall looks well dodgy.
Jay-Z has fallen in the canal.
Jay-Z is in a proper funk because he can’t decide which two flavours will go best together in the “two-scoop deal” at Marine Ices.
Jay-Z thought he was walking up to Camden Road overground station but has somehow gone round in a circle and is back at the World’s End AGAIN
Jay-Z is in the Spread Eagle and thinks Coxon ought to have got a round in by now.
Jay-Z is pouring out a 40 by the Camden Falcon
Jay-Z has arranged to meet Beyonce for a quiet pint, but the Enterprise is full of braying idiots going to see an old indie band at the Roundhouse and his phone battery has just died.
Jay-Z is disturbed by the noise levels in the Enterprise.
Jay-Z is sure the Wetherspoons was up here somewhere – he’ll just keep walking until he finds it.
Jay-Z can’t believe he has to walk all the way round the back of the market to get to the Morrisons.
Jay-Z was sure that guy at the next table used to be in Sleeper but he hadn’t even heard of them and now it’s a bit awkward.
Jay-Z has passed out in the back room of the Richard Steeles.
Jay-Z had to pay 17 quid to get into the zoo because Nas’ 2 for 1 coupon had expired. Also, Nas was late so they both missed Peckish Penguins.
Jay-Z hasn’t been to Camden for a couple of years and is confused that the Monarch is now called the Barfly.
Jay-Z really wishes he hadn’t checked the J section in the MVE bargain basement.
Jay-Z tried to be clever and wait on the opposite southbound Northern line platform to Nas, but the next Charing X branch train is still 7 minutes away.
Jay-Z is gutted that Compendium books has closed down. Last time he was here he got an excellent book on speculative realism.
Jay-Z can’t remember if he’s already bought the Bone compilation he’s eyeing up in the window of Mega City comics.
Jay-Z is concerned for the young slip of a goth lass in those heavy New Rocks. What if she fell in the canal? She’d drown.
Jay-Z can’t get that bloody Suggs song out of his head.
I like Rob’s best, but Big Boi would’ve REALLY loved Peckish Penguins :/
Jay-Z is worried that the bedraggled homeless woman with messy hair who just asked him for 20p outside the Hawley Arms looked very familiar.
Jay-Z feels there is a time and place for blackcurrant in a drink and this is not it.
Jay-Z is still looking for a place with a jukebox that plays Grizzly Bear, just like in Brooklyn.
Jay-Z may have to move from his spot because the creepy drunk who dances by himself keeps trying to make eye-contact.
Jay-Z doesn’t believe that these clothes are ‘one size fits all’.
Jay-Z is pretty sure that Cyberdog really isn’t as good as it used to be.
Jay-Z thinks the bloke who sold him the Global Hypercolour T-shirt might also have been selling him a pup about them “being back in fashion”.
Jay-Z always has the Swedish meatballs when he’s at IKEA.
UGH, ignore my last one.
Jay-Z finds the quaint cockney sense of humour mean and incomprehensible
Jay-Z’s been pushed into the path of an unmarked police car by a girl with pink hair.
Jay-Z and Beyonce are having a small arguement about just which side of Sainsburys the 253 goes from.
Lawrence Miles describes a close encounter:
http://beasthouse-lm2.blogspot.com/2009/11/z-bomb-casualty.html