According to Wikipedia, this is the formula for the evil god Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation, currently menacing DC comics:

“loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding x guilt x shame x failure x judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=dark side”

Now, I may not know much about maths, let alone the higher-dimensional equations of the Fifth World – but I have to ask myself – is this actually an equation? Even if you put “Anti-Life =” at the start? Well, surely not. It’s an equation followed by a proposition and then some statements which I guess the equation will help prove…? Mathematicians? Help me out?

What I DO know is that the main equation bit also needs some BRACKETS! Every good equation should have brackets. This would seem to make more sense:

“Anti-Life = (loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + (((self-worth ÷ mockery) ÷ condemnation) ÷ misunderstanding)) x guilt x shame x failure x judgment”

Poor old self-worth! Long-term students of music and FT will also notice that this is the definition of emo we’ve been struggling for.