In my never-ending battle against the evils of music, I occasionally come across allies who often are unaware of how helpful they are to me. Take the US Immigration services who have decided that The Pipettes are TOO DANGEROUS to be allowed into the US. Or at least mucked up their visa. This is the same US Immigration service who were equally sniffy about letting in big mouthed satan spawn Lily Allen in recently. It is possible that the problem is that both acts have put MUSICIAN down as their profession on the visa application, which I believe flags up the FBI, CIA and the fictitious CTU as much as if you wrote TERRORIST on the form. The downside is of course that this means the Pipettes will still be knocking around in the UK with the gawky glasses and songs which sound like a deaf bloke heard the Shirelles forty years ago and had just got round to copying them. Good on the US with their WAR AGAINST TERRIBLE MUSIC.

On the other hand my archnememises in Radiohead have yet another wacky plan to give them column inches. Apparently singing like a strangled swan and playing miserable songs with sixth form political lyrics is not enough for them anymore. Apparently they are attempting to bring down the economy of the western world. HOW? By allowing people to pay what you want on their website for their new album “In Rainbow”*. The wags. That is bound to cause a financial crisis undermining all that is sacred and good int he record industry. I am not holding my breath though, its not the first time Radiohead have toyed with me and my project. Imagine my rejoicing when they announced “Pop Is Dead”. I thought this was a true statement rathe rthan a scratchy half-arsed knock off of “Creep”. So I certainly don’t trust them now.

I even went to the website. Look, what I pay is up to me. No, really. Its really up to me. Yeah, but you can’t put negative figures in the payment box can you? Bastards. I want them to pay for the pain of Hail To The Thief.

*Why anyone would want to buy a concept album about Zippy Bungle and Geoffrey sung in a depressing whine over the sound of an electric guitar being fed through a coffee grinder is beyond me.