Biblical scholars, have recently queried the standard translation of this particular part of the Bible. One of the more famous bits, this common exclamation was seen as a way of thundering against mortality, at challenging the heavens and claiming ones own manhood against the ages. All well and good during the period of the King James Bible, when mankind really was in a dark age and needed the succour of this kind of homily. In the King James Version it reads as follows:

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”

Said Biblical scholars have now noticed that the grammatical structure of the original is actually reversed, and was clearly misinterpreted by the King James scholars as it seemingly made no sense to them. However when considered that The Bible is supposedly the word of God, and God is omniscient, then it is clear that this was a prophetic cry out to any and all of us forced to witness the comeback tour of the Police*. Tired of being told that he would take Giant Steps on The Moon, and De-Do-Do-Do and De-Dah-Dah-Dah, God – seeing through time – felt fit to single out this most loathsome of singers and his four hour sexual practices. The correct translation, as I am sure even the least scholarly amongst you will have worked out is as follows:

“O Sting, where is thy death? Your grave, would be my victory?”

*Clearly a member of Tanya’s Army there.