He’s probably been dumped by the girl he bought them for.

Impulse, the Just Seventeen of the deodorant world*, is advertising on the side of buses at the moment (can I find one on the web, can I heck). Three new fragrances to add to their already substantial range of cheap, whiffy smells to brighten up your sixth form common room. Now I know that fragrances often have names with little to do with the actual smells involved – long gone are the days you could just buy Rose perfume. Instead perfumes are seen as aspirational, hence the celebrity linking of late. You aren’t buying Jade Goody’s perfume to smell like Jade Goody after all (one assume the celebs don’t wear their own perfumes very often anyway). So the current range of Impulse body sprays are as follows:

A Hint Of Musk**

To this range however have been added three new fragrances. London, New York and Paris***. Naming a fragrance after a city seems a bit odd. Does one want to smell like a city? What does London smell of? Paris can have a nasty niff in the summer certainly. But a snoop around the Impulse website gives us the following copy:

NEW YORK: Life’s a playground so have some fun with New York – this fragrance from the city that never sleeps will rocket you in the mood for adventure. Spray on your New York spark and you’ll be getting butterflies Big Apple style.

LONDON: Don’t follow the crowd, take the lead with London! Get your London spark on and it won’t be long before you draw him in through the chattering crowds and past the chimes of Big Ben – he’ll be there to share your broken brolly and make your eyes see stars.

PARIS: Smell of drains. Be swept off your feet and send those croissant crumbs to the wind with Paris. The sparks that glint in the city of romance could light up the Eiffel Tower – experience the passion of this unique fragrance and, who knows, you might just find your European fling!

Now what the ACTUALLY smell like:

NEW YORK: Apple, Red Fruits, Orchid, Jasmine, Cyclamen, Sandlewood

LONDON: Jasmine, Sandlewood, Patchouli, Vanilla, Mango, Raspberry, Pear

PARIS: Orange, Bergamot, Hyacinth, Raspberry, Jasmine, Patchouli, Drains, Almond.

I can’t help but thinking they have missed out a city though? Where is Munich. Which could be a comments box competition. Name a city, tell us what it would smell of and write the copy for the ad!

*I always think of cheap deodorants like this. Clearly Lynx is the smell version of Nuts magazine. I always thought of Sure as the Radio Times of the deodorant world.

**OK, this one tells you what it will smell like.

***In Australia these are known as New York Sass, London Vibe and Paris Whiff Chic.