We both know what Chingy means when he says, ‘Give me what you got for a pork chop/She threw it at me like I was a shortstop.’ Chingy gets his easy piece of meat; she gets her own in return. But the it could also be the pork chop, right? Right. So I have this alternate vision of our hero — clad in an ’81 Ozzie Smith throwback — botching a routine 4-6-3 double play at a Rock ‘n’ Jock ‘Chopball game. The rapid-fire play-by-play: ‘It’s a ground ‘chop up the middle from Joey Pants; Mandy Moore fields it cleanly at second and — what’s this? Apparently rattled by a gesture made by shortstop Chingy, Moore aggressively rifles the ‘chop over for the force-out and strikes her teammate across the face. No one is out, everyone is safe. Chingy appears to be taking a dirtnap. If you’re scoring at home, that’s E-4.’
What can I say? That’s the feminist in me.
(The feminist in me, however, does not like the fact that I like ‘Right Thurr’ so much.)