Cliff Richard. An easy target, you say? Why yes! But in the Great War, when a plucky Tommy dragged himself across the hell of No-Man’s-Land to the German lines, and there saw a machine-gunner having a quick fag, do you think he said to himself,[…]

You thought it was The La?s, but no – the most irrelevant Scousers since the Farm are Space. I would do a full ?How to write a Space record?, but all you need to know is add in 1930?s Noel Coward-esque nasally spoken bit and generally make a to[…]

cf. Muse.[…]

Fact One: Paul Simon is the name of a group of Estate Agents in North London
Fact Two: Garfunkels is the name of a chain of appalling restaurants in the centre of London, only beaten by Aberdeen Angus Steak Houses for poor services, wretched food and[…]

A SCHOOL PLAYGROUND, TWENTY YEARS AGO
KID KOALA: Hey! Hey guys! Lookit this!
KK’s SCHOOLMATE 1: Aw no, it’s that weird kid. I say we ignore him.”
KID KOALA: Guys!! Look at me! Look!
KK’S SCHOOLMATE 2: Ah shit, we’d bette[…]

They used to wear denim? And they don’t any more? Man! I really want to buy their record now. As for Buffalo G, I think they do my job pretty well themselves…[…]

OK. Hold on. Can I make sure I’ve got this right? This is the one sole teenpop act that we’re meant to think is funny and fresh and cool, the only one whose records it’s ‘OK’ to buy…..and they’re covering a s[…]

Mere minutes after posting about them, I popped to the shops and found myself buying a copy of the New Musical Express, which just happened to feature an interview with the pustulent Muse themselves. “I’m trying to work out if I want to d[…]

cf. Radiohead.[…]

One down, hundreds to go: bye bye, Tubby!
Thank you very much those of you who’ve e-mailed me. I’ve not been replying yet but I have been reading, and your suggestions are very, very welcome. You’ll be delighted to know that the peo[…]