TEN SONGS WHICH WERE NOT WRITTEN BY THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS BUT WHICH WOULD NEVERTHELESS FIT INTO THEIR BENIGHTED CANON WITH NARY A SECOND LOOK: 9: Hot For Dogs
TMBG answer to Squeeze’s “Cool For Cats”, and specifically the question not posited by Difford and Tilbrook - What if condiments could fall in love? Hot For Dogs is the heartwarming (in the way that bile - when produced in sufficient quantities - will warm any part of the body) tale of a romance between the ketchup and the mustard on top of a Jumbo Dog served after the fourth innings of a baseball game. Set to the backing of chugging ZZ Top style guitar, djembe and accordion, The Hot Dog also has a supporting cast of fried onions and the wedding chapel of the purchasers mouth. The song manages to raise not a single smile from its elaborate ampropomorphism of tangy taste providers - and the bathos raised by the contrived yet unsurprising “being eaten” ending is so weak it would be better renamed showeros.
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