After this stinging criticism regarding the secret message on Bad from Steve Mannion, I have decided to look closer at an album that is not even out yet. This way I can discover the secret message, and spread it to you BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY BUY IT. And so Jamie T, all new darling of the London music scene J’Accuse…
What does Jack Accuse though. Well clearly this room on the cover is straight out of the hit BBC TV show A Life Of Grime. Jamie T perhaps is trying to tell us that he is not actually a voice of urban youth after all. Instead he is secretly some gumming OAP who wets himself, smokes eighty Woodbines a day and does that licky kissing thing with his dog (a three legged mongrel). And throwing things away is anathema to him. Which would go a long way to explaining some of his lyrics. No there is only one album cover in history more messy, disorganised and badly designed than this: and that’s the Popjustice album cover (cheers Mannion!)
However it is not as simple as him being some missing OAP. No, the truth is even more sinister. Lets higlight the album cover further for four clues to the horrible truth.
1: Look at this font. What does it remind you of? How about this?
2: This photo. A picture of who? Perhaps the headline GENERATION gives you a hint if you don’t have 24 style scanning software. Yes, the first Manic Street Preachers album was called Generation Terrorists and this is a picture of their early line-up.
3: You can’t see Jamie T’s forearm here. You would think that being called Jamie T, he might wear T-Shirts. Clearly he has something to hide. Here is an artist impression of what his forearm actually looks like.
4: Again using my CTU like image enhancing software, I was able to identify this vinyl album as The Holy Bible.
CONCLUSION: Jamie T is the biggest Manic Street Preachers fan around, and his album is going to either sound like a) off cuts from Gold Against The Soul or b) Shampoo. SO BE WARNED, Jamie T’s album is not so much Panic Prevention, as MANICS PRESERVATION.