Posts from 21st December 2004

21
Dec 04

Human After All

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Human After All

For many of you out there, there may be none more seismic a newsflash over the festive season. The prospect of a new Daft Punk album has excited me for some time, but hang on, it’s not been mentioned on The Raft, only NME from what I can tell. And, that title! Those track titles…it’s all rather fishy isn’t it? Risky to speculate either way if you want to avoid getting a plate, getting your words, putting those words on said plate, and eating your words…BUT if it IS true then it did bring to mind an interesting ‘tactic’ for bands as they bid to distinguish their new great work from the last. Supposedly, by denial or retraction they go forwards…almost too keen to convince everyone this one will be different from the previous effort, at least in concept and premise. Not that another Discovery or Homework would probably be a good idea, I think I just adhere to a rather ‘boyish’ (and both appealing yet disturbing) ideal about machines or indeed man-machines being superior to the human, an ethos that’s resulted in some of the most amazing, dynamic electronic pop music of the last 30 years or more. And I hope Thomas and Guy-Man still recognise that and don’t ‘sell their turntables and buy guitars’ (to paraphrase ‘Losing My Edge’) as it were.

So I think I’d prefer ‘We Are Still Zer Robotz’ for the title…

The Black Friar has gone smoke-free.

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The Black Friar has gone smoke-free.

Wandering past the Black Friar on my way home yesterday, I saw a sign saying “A Smoke-Free Pub” – it seems they’ve banned smoking from the place.

It’s an interesting choice: the Black Friar (New Bridge Street) is a classic, traditional City boozer, with a pleasant exterior and fabulous interior. It has a great big paved area outside where people could smoke unmolested by buses and unsplashed by inconsiderate motorists. It’s also very badly ventilated, especially in its jewel-like back room which often felt and smelled like its marble and mirrors had been built immediately on top of the Devil’s own bonfire.

This is exactly the sort of destination boozer which needs to become non-smoking voluntarily if there’s any chance at all of averting the swingeing, unnecessary smoking ban which seems to be on the cards. If the free market can demonstrate that it can provide customers and staff with a genuine choice of smoky or non-smoky then that seems a sound way forward. And, let’s face it, if the polls are right and there really is an overwhelming public demand for smoke-free drinking environments, the market should be able to provide them. It’s not often I say this, but well done Nicholson’s.

how INADVERTENT experiment created ALL SCIENCE

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how INADVERTENT experiment created ALL SCIENCE
(a “pumpkin publog” co-production)

how inadvertent experiment powers culinary science

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 279 views

how inadvertent experiment powers culinary science
(a “proven by science” co-production obv)

ok so the way we learn the history of science or the fine details of cookery it’s always presented like clever ppl sat and theorised, then worked out a way to PROVE the theory —> i have decided this is nonsense however, and that the sequence is instead this:

assumption i: cookery is the mother of all science obv
assumption ii: the primary driving force in cookery is the EXACT REPRODUCTION of things you have tasted and liked before
however: it is a party and everyone arrives in 20 mins and you are just jugglin the dishes and you GET SOMETHING SLIGHTLY WRONG and it is TOO LATE TOO LATE to go back and get it right
result: either CATASTROPHE! or AMAZING NEW TASTE SENSATION!

proof i: gingerbread
ok i never really got this WRONG yet but my two (by choice) to-taste variants totally fuck w.the volume and cookin time viz i use tate&lyle golden syrup instead of treacle PLUS chopped up ginger (from sainsbury ginger in syrup) instead of raisins… well maybe when you use raisins they distribute themselves equally down through the dough (which is totally liquid), but the ginger bits fall ALL THE WAY to the bottom, hence form an insulating sedimentary layer at the base… anyway this time it bubbled up way over the sides and ran not only down into the base of the oven but OUT THROUGH THE DOOR (i think i may have overwhisked after i added the baking soda): conclusion next year i wd like to get the cake i got this time w/o the liquid mix seething out onto the floor (= use slightly less of all ingredients = recipe for chemico-culinary non-happening)

proof ii: cheesy blobs
the basic recipe i am working from here is rubbishly non-cheesy, so i spent the first four times varying the type(s) of cheese and doubling the amount of cheese: this led two years ago to a THERMONUCLEAR CHEESE MELTDOWN event, which wz v.tastable but a bit like charred alien’s vomit. Anyway I cranked back the amount of cheese (with some regret) and this time upped the amount of water (bcz it is meant to be a SOFT dough but w. one tablespoon of hot water is just NOT). This time i got a kind of glue w/o any firmness at all. The time pressure of guests soon to arrive (if not ALREADY ARRIVED hem hem) means you can’t redo the dough SO onwards fingers x-ed. Well at these level the baking of the blobs in fact involves an element of FRIED CHEESE ACTION: which worked perfectly on the metal baking tray (cheese puffs on a caramelised cheese base numnum) but poorly in the ceramic dish, where the brushed-egg-yolk for shininess turned into a kind of omelette surround and the blobs stayed doughy and w/o definition). Panic solution: scrape tops off blobs leaving bases stuck in omelette surround. Hide ceramic dish at bottom of sink full of water. Flash-bake tops of blobs on the baking tray which just successfully delivered the first batch of blobs. Result: “success”, though these “blobs” are in truth an array of random shapes

counterexample i: boil-in-bag book

guest arrival imminent (see above), exchange dirty towels in bathroom for clean ones, thrust dirty towels hurriedly into washing machine, fail to notice COLLECTED GHOST STORIES OF M.R. JAMES – which wz reading in bath earlier in day – tangled up in towel: result FAT SOGGY AND INEDIBLE RIPPED PULP de COLLECTED GHOST STORIES OF M.R. JAMES

eskimo pie

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 529 views

eskimo pie!!

!!!!!!!!!!

console yrself with the new bleep pop

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console yrself with the new bleep pop

this wz the headline in metro – so i don’t actually know what the “new bleep pop” is exactly, as i couldn’t read over the fellow bus traveller’s shoulder w/o making a weirdo of myself… what i cd see of the first para is that it’s something to do w.computer games, hence this post is here to celebrate the tremendous pun on CONSOLE hurrah!