(reposted from my l1v3j0urn@l)

I like comics in theory. I am very glad I am reading this Summer’s mainstream crop for free, though. It used to be that superhero comics were like summer blockbusters, i.e. Check out this FITE! No check out THIS ONE!!!! OMG NO HERE’S THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

This is a good use of superhero comics in my opinion.

Also unlike real actual blockbusters they were being written in 10 minutes by some guy who had another seven to write the next day. So they were often madder than action films. (I am basing my knowledge of the film production process on the Orange cinema ads mind you.)

An example: in the issues of the Mighty Thor I was reading last night, Thor is having a big FITE with Hercules, who sings “HO FOR THE JOY OF COMBAT!” a lot. Thor is doing OK but then his Dad Odin is persuaded to take half his powers away mid-battle. (Because Thor has been at it with a mortal). OH NO! Hercules wins! Hercules is then offered to become a MOVIE STAR but it turns out that the film producer is none other than PLUTO god of the UNDERWORLD and the contract is really an oath saying Hercules must rule said underworld FOR EVER. Hercules notices this and says “Hold on this contract says I must rule the Underworld forever” and Pluto says “No no thats just the plot of the fillum”. Great film eh? So Hercules signs! OH NO! Luckily Thor sorts it all out.

Anyway this gets the thumbs up from me. Then superhero comics got a bit more sensible and literate and well-characterised, and that was pretty good too, even if sometimes I wish it hadn’t happened.

But now? Well now the market is pretty much all people who’ve been reading them for ages (LIKE ME OH NO) and theyve seen all the blockbuster stuff, AND the literate stuff, and so now the model is basically PORN, not your interweb g@p1ng @rs3 porn as being spammed onto an ILX thread near you in which you get what you pay for and then some, but old-school UK style mucky vids where the entire thing would be an enormous tease hung on a flimsy story and at the end you’d get some unconvincing softcore action and be left with the deflated feeling that anything interesting had happened offscreen.

All this years big comics storylines (I will spare non-readers the actual details, they do not involve ruling the underworld forever tho) have been going for 3 or 4 months now without much actual story emerging, just continual promises that the BIG CHANGES and the BIG SURPRISES are coming next issue…no next….no, next one. DC Comics has been trailing its “Infinite Crisis” for 6 months and about 25 issues and nobody has any real idea what it’s actually going to be about. Apparently they have an exciting conclusion in mind, which is more than I do to this post, other than to say that comics are rubbish and read by suckas (sob!).

Also characters poll, last few days, vote!