So the World Cup is here and with it, some generally quite dull games so far. Angola Portugal lacked the colonial fireworks that, sensibly, both managers tried to play down. The most exciting game so far has been a 0-0 draw (good work Trinidad – oh and Tobago). And the biggest upset? That would be how upset the BBC’s pundits were at the end of the match against Paraguay.

Perhaps upset is the wrong word. Contempt suits them more. After a half time performance where the Ian Wright, Alan Hansen and that no-eyed Geordie bastard Alan Shearer rained compliments upon Sven;s team, it was time for the reality check. After England’s poor second half performance and some strange substitutions the atmosphere was prickly in the box. All sense of even handedness went out of the window: even Gary Linaker was taking the piss out of Sven.

Clearly a game plan which involves removing the strikers from the team are not going to convince a panel of strikers. But when even Garth Crooks’ little peanut head goes on the attack and Ray Stubbs gets in Sven’s ear with pointed “you are crap” questions, you know the BBC team have got a line. And that line seems to be: we have the best team in the world, only the manager can fuck it up.