Oh Cristiano, how we mocked thee. Let me count the ways. How your endless cheeky flicks and attractive stepovers wowed the world and disgusted the TMFD staff. How we smugly nodded along with Alan and Gordon every time the words ‘end product’ were uttered. How we crowed during the short-lived ideological victory that saw the plucky, hard-tackling, dangle-free Greeks win Euro 2004 while you cried like a baby. How we rubbed our hands together, safe in the knowledge that the Portuguese bag of tricks would never survive up against the Robbie Savages and John Terrys of this world.

Of course, we were right. And then we were wrong. The way you covered an entire half of the pitch at Highbury in a matter of seconds, how you changed the entire course of the Premiership’s best game all season with two goals, an assist and barely a stepover in sight. And suddenly, the fanny dangle makes sense. How the most-fouled player in the Premiership is a huge asset in a team full of dead-ball talent. How cumbersome Evertonian fullbacks falling on their arse almost as often as you fall on yours makes for fantastic entertainment. How you are suddenly one of the most effective attacking players in the Premiership, and with only the merest hint of a poncey flickup.

Cristiano Ronaldo, for this week at least, TMFD salutes you. Enjoy it while it lasts.