2: Being Sober For The Rest Of Your Life

Uh-oh. Check your hat in as you wander into Alcoholics Anonymous and sit in the corner watching the other boozer, losers and vodka users tell their litany of horrors. Surely the fear here is being drunk for the rest of your life, being slave to the demon drink.

I would like to say that when I first suggested this, I did not mean sobriety to be the opposite of drunkenness. Rather the more literal sense of being clear headed, unmuddled, certain, sure and dull. I would like to say that, and it may well be correct. Truth be told though alcohol is my drug of choice, and sober is the opposite of being drunk. So this probably means exactly what it sounds like. A fear of not ever being allowed to drink again. Since I fear it, perhaps it is something that might be a potential likelihood for me. Is this fear of actually being an alcoholic and then having to do something about it?

Obviously I was a bit tipsy when this list was made (wait til you see what gets to number one). We all were. The bouzey camaraderie is what I would miss, being the sober one while everyone else is getting sloshed is often less than fun. Like the fear of being alone for the last third of your life, it is about missing things which make you feel safe, loved, comfortable. Alcohol, or your drug of choice, does not do this loving for you. But it goes a long way to providing the situation where you can feel you are loved. Ironically though (I have always found it ironic) alcohol is a depressant. But then the point of mind altering drugs is to push us to experience those parts of our personality which do not always get an outing. Hmm, perhaps too much justification for a man who just wants to have a pint every now and then for the rest of his life.

At its heart this is a fear of change, a fear of this social crutch being taken away. It is coincidentally a fear of whatever would force this constant state of sobriety upon me: illness or a lack of control of ones own urges to drink. I am not a big drinker, but I do drink regularly. Could I do without it? Probably. Probably. But do I want my hand forced? No.