Freaky Trigger Top 25 Scariest Things

no. 25: Spiders
I see no dishonour in confessing to a fear of spiders. But let’s get this in proportion: I’m no arachnophobe, and am happy to take on the gentleman’s burden of deporting 8-legged strays from the house. That being said, they DO have to go: except maybe the tiniest. Oddly, however much I dislike the beasts, I won’t kill them. I returned home after a couple of days’ absence to find three up-turned glasses on the floor, dead spiders under each (the lady of the house not being so keen on the second part of the job) and it just didn’t feel right. (Hmm, having confessed to irrational fears I’m now owning up to superstitions. Soon I’ll be running off to join a cult.)

What’s scary about a spider? Something about the way they lurk, I suppose. I remember having to switch off the TV during Neighbours once. There was a large (and venomous, one presumed) spider in some poor Erinsburger’s living room, and the slow tension-building shots of the advance of this creature upon its accidental prey were just too much for me. Quite the opposite of Arachnophobia, a film I happily screamed all the way through. (And Ptee is dead right (link inserted for lazy hack – lazy hack), but giant spiders just are NOT scary).

With your common-or-garden house spider it’s not size so much as bulk that sorts them on the fear-factor index. Long gangly legs? Not a problem. Thick, hairy, rotund bellies: urghh get the dustpan. Web-based spiders? At least you know where they are. It’s when they scuttle that you’re in trouble.

Ultimate spider horror? It’s got to be their wall-running and ceiling antics: anything that can DROP ON YOU is scary.