MORCHEEBA – “The Great London Traffic Warden Massacre”: The parking shop at Wandsworth Town Hall is a mass of low expectations thoroughly met – laminate zone maps on formica tables, chewed pencils on raffia strings, customers assuming staff are jobsworths, staff assuming customers are fiddlers or fools. I’m a fool: not a driver, I’ve acquired a car by marriage and have no idea which document is what. The staff suffer me as gladly as can be expected. In the lobby, traffic wardens come and go. If this fluffy, forgettable instrumental were to play there the mood would change not a bit.

HEATHER NOVA – “London Rain”: Imagine a Martian who understood only songs: the first thing it would learn about London is how wet the place is. “Nothing falls like London rain”, sultries the singer, out of nowhere. Except other rain, I suppose. “Keep me in your bed all day” she trills for the rest of the song. It’s all a bit Laura Ashley. One for fans of Shell off Big Brother, perhaps.