a) London To Hong Kong
Watch In Good Company. Be surprisingly impressed by this romantic comedy that isn’t. End up making long notes about the Weitz brothers for future DYS article.
Watch Birth with Nicole Kidman. Marvel at Jonathon Glazier’s ability to make a film with a similar austerity and coldness to one of Woody Allen’s least popular films (Interiors). Also marvel at the way the film arses up an excellent set up. Decide not to write an article on this, as the idea behind the film is much more interesting than the film.
Sleep.
Watch and episode of CSI: New York where Sneezy tries yet again to be gritty and funny like Grissom, and fails. Work out who did it in the first couple of minutes which is just as well as the plane landed before it was confirmed. But I wuz right.
2) Hong Kong to London
Read line up of films. Be disgusted that I have seen all of them. Travel companions tell me it serves me right. Pah, sympathy!
Watch an episode of Kath & Kim followed by an episode of Absolutely Fabulous from THIRTEEN YEARS AGO! Notice the central joke of women drinking and behaving badly has not gone sour. Also note that Ab Fab makes a lot of jokes about people who are now dead like Linda Macartney and Paula Yates.
Watch the supposed best of Britcom, including The Sketch Show(!), Little Britain, Nighty Night and Peep Show. Note that none of these would be particularly suitable for five year old kids surfing on their own. Especially the nazi episode of Peep Show and the threesome episode of Nighty Night.
Sleep.
Watch half of A Bug’s Life and be reminded of the one time Pixar were trounced. The circus bugs are good, but the strange romance and the rubbish lead character really lets down this bug film making Antz better.
Watch an episode of Monk. Work out that the show is mere smoke and mirrors, and even the detection is rubbish and relies on the biggest coincidence ever. Nevertheless Tony Shaloub ROOLZ even with OCD and no tie, even if the mysteries are pointless to the extreme, its a show which allows TS to go nuts about a man urinating in public as if it is more serious than murder (which it is!).
Watch the first twenty minutes of a Korean rom-com which seems to have the same plot as dull Irish rom com About Adam. Feel smug for noticing this, until one reads the review in the in-flight magazine where it says it is indeed a Korean version.
Watch kung-fu movie House Of Fury, more of which later. Note to self that even if one has seen all the English language films there might be some worthwhile Asian cinema on. That is not based on half hearted Irish rom-coms.
Watch one of The Sketch Show sketches again to remind oneself exactly how bad it is.