Alexander The GayTe. Ho ho ho…
Alexander is a very silly movie, but surprisingly good fun. Surprising considering it is three hours long. It ditches any idea of historical authenticity the moment Tony Hopkins’ Ptolemy rears his head, and then spends the rest of its time trying to get across the idea of what it might be like to be Alexander. Ie, quite hard.

The Alexander Story is actually a bit of a dull one. He fights battles, he wins battles. GOTO 10. Until you meet some elephants. And the elephant battle is one of the best five minutes of cinema I have seen in ages, even down to the arty/dafty colour desaturation.

Alexander is full of rot, terrible acting, and a ponderous script which does not always hang together. But what a failure it is. A full blooded, enjoyably bad film which makes Troy look like the immature piece of dullness it actually was. Blondes do have all the fun.