Will Smith is on the radio which reminds me of an urgent question: where is the I, Robot song? The Rules Of Entertainment clearly state that all Will Smith blockbusters – except the ‘serious acting’ ones like Ali – must come with a low-quality yet horribly catchy pop-rap hit from ‘Big Willie’. But I, Robot lacks such a promo track. Either this is because the film is meant to be a serious one – plainly nonsense – or because the record company suppressed the record for quality/shame reasons. Our thorough investigations have revealed that this latter is pretty much the truth. Will Smith did indeed record a track, based on a Kraftwerk sample and called “I R a Robot”. This track was couriered to Dusseldorf for approval, but shortly after hearing it Ralf Hutter suffered a mysterious Greek-style ‘cycle accident’ which left his ears “useless” for long enough that the promotional cycle had moved on and the song remains unreleased. Look for it as a DVD Easter Egg.