So there are these women right, who throughout history have worn cat masks. All of whom, one imagines, were brought back to life by stinky cat breath and then went leaping around like – well actually not like a cat because cats can’t climb sheer walls, or jump eighty feet and do capoeira. Or so the opening sequence of Egyptian cats and burnt witches would have us believe.

Yes. Catwoman is a very silly film. Unfortunately, in the right mood, it is also entertainingly silly. The big problem with its lack of success is because no-one believes you are going in to see an entertainingly silly film. Instead they believe that you either
a) Really like superheroes (and hence are sad)
b) Want to get off on Halle Berry’s arse clad in leather (and hence are sad)

The latter set are in for disappointment. Berry’s odd twitchy cat act is anything but sexy. Catwoman (even this knocked off idea of catwoman) is not a “method acting” part. It is probably more important to be sexy than to actually be like a cat. From the point you see Berry eating tuna from the can you kind of go off her as a newly liberated woman with special powers. The costume is embarrassing, the poor CGI is daft and none of it hangs together plotwise. Which of course does not stop it being the half-arsed producers idea of what a superhero film should be (a bit of Spiderman, a bit of X-Men, drop the Batman faux seriousness). Even down to its last minute – oh hold on, let’s leave it open for a sequel that will NEVER COME this is film-makers lying to themselves constantly that they have not only made an okay action film (they haven’t) but something which has something to say about feminism (they really really haven’t). But as the Onion article had it, not even the worst film I have seen this summer.