Timeline is a thoroughly entertaining lousy movie. (okay, lousy movie Monday has finished, but there are just too many lousy films in this world to just fit in one day). Hacked back to life one imagines in an edit suite by someone who has no interest (thank god) in being faithful to the Michael Crichton book, just trying to find some semblance of sense in the piece. Thus portentous subplots go by the wayside, life changing romance seems a touch rushed and we get in and out of the fourteenth century in under two hours. Pointless technobabble and a thinly disguised Bill Gates as villain are just a few more tidbits to enjoy. Less enjoyable is spending ages to get to the middle ages, suggesting that it might explain its oddly convenient time travel and then chickening out.

Nevertheless, of all the films I saw last year it might have left me with my favourite piece of lousy invention. In the final battle for the French castle when Anna (Vit Vit) Friel’s Lady Claire is shacked up, the archers get busy. Popping flaming arrow after flaming arrow over the walls to the encroaching English. Then as the battle takes a turn for the worse the call goes out: ‘NIGHT ARROWS!’. Not actually a whole new stealth technology device, they appear to be your bog standard arrow cunningly not set alight. Something important might have happened in the next five minutes, but we were too busy laughing.