I wrote a short plot treatment for a film course I did about seven years ago called Penis Envy. The premise was two conjoined twins joined at the penis. Finally in adulthood the pair get separated, with the proviso that one of the pair gets all the penis, the other one is left with a tiny stub. I bring this up to illustrate that Stuck On You, the new Farrelly Brothers movie ‘ all things considered – is in rather good taste. Also to explain why I am a little bit disappointed with how tame it is.

Given the premise is a shaky as the misadventures of two Siamese twins in Hollywood, it is remarkable how little imagination the set pieces have. Indeed the comic high-points stretch pretty much to covering how conjoined twins might play sport. Ice hockey, American football, golf and the all-American sport of bar room brawling are happily covered. And a very chaste sex scene. The problem is that in it being a love-in for the state of brotherhood there is next to no tension. Out twins love each other, and are both pretty good guys. The stupidity or shyness which have characterised the best of the Farrelly’s comic creations are just not here. This limits the comic situations as there appear unwilling to ever put the twins into any kind of moral, physical or spiritual danger.

If you fancy spending an hour and a half in the company of the amiable and rather convincing pairing of Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon then Stuck On You is a pleasant enough way of doing it. But do not expect either to be outraged or particularly amused. For that we might just have to wait for Penis Envy. Or not.