Shitebox My god, what am I watching? Some kind of virtual Gladiators? Robot Wars with computer game geeks instead of radio-controlled beardies? Most importantly, WHOSE IDEA IS THIS?
Fightbox, showing right now on BBC Three, is absolutely shocking. On paper, this looks like it might be a genre-busting, multi-format winner. In actuality, it reeks. The basic idea: the contestants (effing students, natch) design a warrior (dumb names include “Cyberskin”, “Turpin”) to compete in a number of feeble minigames (“Demolition”, “Panic”, yawn). They pit themselves against “the Sentients”, Fightbox’s “House Robots” – each more rubbish than the last. A crowd looks on cheerlessly.
OK, it’s a bad idea but it might have worked if the execution wasn’t so poor. The graphics belong in a Playstation launch title (a bit Time Commando-ish, no recommendation); well jerky. And the game dynamics are laughable. Move list? Kick, punch, headbutt and repeat. They should have just held a televised Tekken tourney. Now there’s an idea…