Aim: Combining the aesthetic joys of Flying Fruit and the no-nonsense tuffness/springiness test of the Experiment We Did Not Do, we decided to find out what happens when you throw a pumpkin from a second floor balcony onto tarmac.

Apparatus: Some booze, a pumpkin, a second floor balcony, a car park.

Method: Under the influence of the booze, the pumpkin was heaved far enough away from the balcony to avoid any inconvenient cars below. A team of observers were on hand to note the results.

Results: All observers agreed the results were hugely disappointing. Rather than a satisfying splatter across the tarmac, the fruit bounced once and rolled to a halt, only losing a small section from the impacts.

Conclusion: Pumpkins are the BabyBels of the fruit world, in that they fail to fufil expectations when misused. It’s possible that our squash was a freakishly tuff example but further experiments could not be performed cos we decided to watch Ghostbusters instead.