Cocktail Clampdown: alcohol cannot, apparently, be linked with ‘sexual promiscuity’, so the likes of Sex On The Beach are out. The aphrodisiac properties of these names had escaped me – booze lowers inhibitions, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s called Slippery Nipple or, I don’t know, Moderate Enjoyment Please. Drinks don’t shag people, people do, or something. The fact is that most pub cocktails look naff, taste naff and it’s entirely fitting that they have naff names too. Political correctness gone a bit squiffy.