After once seeing a certain chocolate bar in the shop round the corner, and then never seeing it again EVER in my life (expect me to blog the full story when I have access to a computer at the same time I have access to several bottles of red wine), I have learnt when finding such menko foodstuffs as the below, to 1) purchase and 2) GIVE EVIDENCE. Thus, I present to you: Lion Original Sports Mixture. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS ANYWHERE. Does it only exist in Stamford Hill?

I thought I had had bought the packet into work with me, so I could share the baffling exhortions it behoves you to make on the back, but it appears not. The only one I can remember is “DUC’E A PINEAPPLE*! So, eat some harsh looking wine gums, then indulge yourself in a game of ultimately unsatisfying duece-duece game of tennis, then. With a pineapple. Marvellous.

I am sure these are horrid

*I don’t know how to do the accent above a capital letter, sorry all.