You are hot. You want cooling. You buy a Magnum, aware that it is the premiere ice cream chocolate combo.Butwhat is this? Oops, you have accidentally bought another one of the four hundred special edition Magnum’s that come out every year. Still that pistachio one you had last year was not all that bad. You examine the wrapper, you have bought a Magnum with a truffle invermiddle.

Okay, get the obvious out of the way. This is a truffle like you used to get at school, therefore a pig would not cock its snout anywhere near it. No hyperexpensive fungi for your one pound thirty, unsurprisingly. Instead that dry, supersweet gunge which, I had not previously known before, seems to have the finest insulating property known to mankind. Basically, it does not get cold. Plus point, you Magnum stick is not subject to falling apart due to melting ice cream. Downside, the lolly is not really very cold. Leaving you with a cloyingly over sweet chocolate bar which does not do what you wanted it to do. Boo.

By the way, I bet the people at Magnum hate it being called a lolly.