UNHEALTHY VEGETABLES: PART TWO: aka the The Parsnip Paradise: – hey you know, I don’t think I’ve ever started a post with so many colons. And on which tenuous and probably not-at-all-proven-by-science link, I do wonder what the eating of so many deep fried ‘nip chips is doing to my OWN colon, never mind my innards’n’guts. It’s not REALLY ‘deep frying’ if you are just using a WOK and olive oil, right? (Ah this reminds me I have now run OUT of olive oil, perhaps one might want to use vegetable oil in the future – I think I would have done that anyway but I’d ummm, run out). Before I embark on the task of giving you the parsnip chip instructions (they are so fool-proof they were first told to me in THE PUB and I still remember them), I must warn you to have some kitchen roll available. There may have been lots yesterday but it is very possible a flatmate in need will have used it all in relation to something a little less salubrious than cooking. Otherwise at the end of the process you rush about desperately to find your TOILET ROLL STASH to soak up the oil. Use a roll you haven’t started, or best yet even removed from the packet for this.



1. Fill the kettle with water and press BOIL.
2. Get some parsnips, peel and/or scrape em free of skin and then cut into CHIPS. If you are posh, perhaps the term I am after is.. julienne? You know how you make CRUDITES out of carrot sticks well like that. For crying out loud I am sure all publog readers are familar with CHIPS!
2. Fetch your WOK, pour in oil, heat it up – DO NOT INSERT NIPS.
3. Your kettle will have boiled, get another pan and BLANCH THOSE NIPS until the oil in the wok is stonkingly hot
4. Drain the nips, pat dry with KITCHEN ROLL and chuck a load of flour over them
5. IN THE WOK! IN THE WOK!! Avoid splashes and/or acting like a TV Chef at this point, although deep frying stuff yourself IS very exciting isn’t it?
6. Leave em until some of them look brown
7. Fish them out with some form of SLOTTED SPOON perhaps, maybe even a fish slice, I’m not picky, pat em free of grease again and then SCOFF.

They will be nice even if you forget about the blanching so you just end up putting them in hot water for about 15 seconds before getting bored and stuffing it. They are a wee bit nicer though so you should (and I will too) try to remember.

I can’t think of any more unhealthy vegetables off the top of my head, unless one counts carrot cake. Anything cooked in butter is unhealthy of course, and on that tip I might point out that peas, butter and garlic and VERY nice and only take about two minutes to cook an’ all. Yum yum.