Is Big Beautiful? Sometimes. I was wondering the other night as I attempted to get all the way through another pizza from La Porchetta.* The question I would like to pose here is how do you feel when you leave leftovers on your plate in a restaurant. Because I am absolutely certain that no-one has ever completed a three course meal in any of the three restaurants.

The other night I struggled through the starter – Antipasto Misto which meant here a whole pigs worth of piled up cold cuts. All the ham and salami was top-notch so you had to finish it but it did not leave much room for the main pizza. Which considering I usually have to be pretty hungry to finish a pizza there meant possibly sending back a semi-circle. The pizza that came to my table was the size of, well the table, and the excess does not stop there. Want parma ham on your pizza? You won’t get Pizza Express odd strips, you’ll get so much that you can barely see the cheese. I have never seen anyone have a desert in there, but I am reliably informed that the ice cream comes in Mount Etna shaped mounds which haven’t gopt the hang of a decent scaling factor. Never mind their willingness to let you take you leftovers home for breakfast, I think they must economically be missing a trick here.

I don’t like leaving food on my plate, especially in a restaurant. If I have left something I like it to make the statement that I did not really like it, rather than I was too stuffed to eat another bite. I am sure the chef in North london branches of La Porchetta do not take leftovers personally, but it is their fault. The garlic bread is the same size as a pizza, which to be more realistic has a diameter of about 15″. The house wine comes in litre carafes for eight quid. It is all too much. The pig on the menu is a statement of intent. (I am not sure what statement his trotter that looks like a penis makes). I really like the restaurants, but I wish one day that i could have a balanced meal there…

*Note to Australian readers, I am refering to the London mini chain of four restaurants, as opposite to your franchise hungry version which looks less excessive. Note to Muswell Hill residents, yours is not part of the chain.