Tray etiquette: As a response to “Things which are impossible (but pubs expect us to do) 2”.We were in the Spreadeagle last Friday, myself and a good selection of publoggers. My round came rather late in the evening (I believe I may have top and tailed it – in as much as I got a small early round and the last round of the night had hit me). We were lucky enough to have a smallish table which were extremely crammed around as the rest of the pub was pretty solid with the usual Friday cram. The bar being approximately twenty yards away I considered the multi-trip option with two drinks per trip – no-one ever comes to help. And then I noticed the trays. Sitting in the corner of the bar thoroughly unloved. So I asked for one.

Now my multi-braided Aussie barmaid looked a bit confused. I vaguely got the feel questioning my manhood. Could I not carry six drinks through the crowd, pissed as I already was. She didn’t even know where you look. In the end she followed my point to the round plastic discs and voila, I had a tray. I also got more looks as I attempted the assault course walk back. A tray makes manoeuvring a lot harder than the two drink option. But worse was to come. On achieving the table with minimal spillage I had to contend with massive shifts in distribution of weight as people took their drinks (causing slightly more spillage). I returned to the bar with the tray and its small puddle of beer in it wondering whether it had been worth it. I’m not sure.