FIVE… Only bottled beer served. Fine if you like the Polish beer “EB” (unlikely).
4… Club Nite Tonite and every night. Fine if you like jazz/funk.
3… Buy a drink and get your change back on a plate. Do they really think you’re going to tip the barman?
2… House cocktails a-go-go. “A house Martini served any way you want” – I’ll have mine in a pint glass please.
1… Guys in suits talking to toffee-nosed Prada-wearing birds.

THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!! Whoever decided to put five foot high portraits of the Tracy family on the wall of Sosho Match must have forgotten that, in addition, Thunderbirds are SAD!! This bar’s Ikea-style logo doesn’t prepare you for such sixth-form interior decoration. It does make you think, though – surely Alan and Scott Tracy are (at best) half-brothers, given Alan’s resemblance to the milkman.

Sosho Match is on two floors. The upstairs L-shaped bar was packed at 6.30pm, with lots of the tables “Reserved” for Business Analysts who were unlikely to turn up. Don’t sit by the door, as it’s v. draughty – the convivial doorman was wearing two or three overcoats.

A better bet is to go downstairs (assuming it’s not pre-booked). There’s a large leather sofa there, should you be in need of forty w*nks (sorry, winks). Or you could just go home.

Pumpkin Publog