“Platters for sharing” Often offered, regularly ordered but never any good at all – it’s the pub sharing platter. For more than the price of two meals, you can recreate that crap wedding reception buffet vibe by ordering a selection of snack foods which were never meant to be eaten together. Typically, these will all have been deep-fried: prawn toasts, mini bhaji, lamb on a stick, chicken wings, buffalo fries. Why not go the whole hog and have fish fingers and potato waffles? Do you have the palate of a six year old?

There is a reason why meals include things like vegetables. Balanced diet. It’s the same reason why people don’t just have three steaks for dinner.