While I personally feel that the Pint Pot has been unjustly maligned – the roof garden is very nice bar the occasional chill breeze or fight over packets of crisps – I must take issue with this “community spirit” malarkey. Community spirit is as far as I’m concerned a monster turn off in pub terms, as what it in fact means is “The kind of pub where everyone stares at you with their one good eye the second you walk through the door”. Friendliness: yes. Community: no. The pubs in my native Leatherhead, for example, are full of community spirit, indeed the Bull was closed down for the first time when the community got a little too spirited. Also com. spir. tends to involve such horrors as pub singalongs and knees-ups, anathema to the modern drinker whose purpose is to sit and talk shite with his mates.

Incidentally do any pubs have pianners any more? The last one I saw was in The Mall off Kensington Church Street, and lo and behold an old boy did indeed regale us with a rendition of the first five bars of “The Entertainer” on repeat. But that was two years ago.