DUEL! 2002 – Round 1 Match 9

Duel 2002 Round 1 Match 9

Which Of These Bands Is Worse?
Belle And Sebastian

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Our Scottish Correspondent S.Clarke says –

“It’s the triangular face versus the fish hair style, it’s Scotland versus
Scotland in a battle of the boyband who can depress the most, DUEL! First being
airlifted into the arena as a representative of Belle & Sebastian is singer,
songwriter, egg/tambourine shaker Isobel Campbell, accompanied by Mr. Isocoles
himself, Stuart Murdoch. Their bland pastiches of sixties soul and attempts to
recreate what they did (to an idiosyncratic TREET!) in the past can quite frankly
be SHOVED UP THEIR BUMS as an example to be told WHEN TO GIVE UP.

And as for Fran Healys gang of losers Travis, it always rains on them BECAUSE I
AM A WARLOCK(ess) ph34r m3!!! I supose it’s a fight between a band who have let
you down and That Band Who… the band who WHOT exackerly Travis??? Bladdy
nothing. And as for that song about Sing Sing (or the TRUBBLES in Singapore – ARE
there that many trubbles in Singapore?), leave the songs that put people to sleep
to Jigglypuff.”

Yesterday’s Result: DIDO 74% – Andrew WK 26%

A victory for the righteous forces of PARTY HARD, huzzah. Dido sweeps through to Round 2 on a chorus of disapproval from you lot (and the lowest-yet Duel! turnout):

“I had never heard of Andrew WK, so I hopped over to his website and found this quote: “The future is so bright – at times I feel the need to cover my eyes with my hands for fear of being blinded.” He can he possibly not be worse than Dido?”

“Can I vote for both of them? I’d like to see them both gutted by starving boars. In the end, I had to flip a coin (it came up Dido; sorry luv, but the boars are waiting).”

“dido is for people who think sarah maclachlan is too intense. is it really that fair to put her up against a meathead bent on making the loudest, dumbest drum-machine-damaged pop-metal ever? granted, i have my skepticism about andrew w.k. (does anyone else think that “i get wet” sounds just like cheap trick’s “surrender”?), but i’ll gladly take his over-the-top absurdity over dido’s timid MOR milquetoastness any day. ”

“I dont know who andrew wk is, but how can he be worse than this horribly boring, even yuppier, cofee table version of morcheeba???? can america STOP BREEDING THESE HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE ADULT ABOMINATIONS???? I hope this lady gets to the final, ’cause she deserves it”

“Andrew WK is a dunderhead who thinks his silly music is deeper than it is (let’s not forget his Slade-aped sound). I’m not a huge Dido fan, but her stuff shows a heckuvalot more creativity than WK.”

“Andrew WK, on the one hand, is a mildly annoying idiot whose music I can even stand because I blissfully forget it the precise moment it’s over. Dido, on the other hand, is a hugely annoying idiot whose music is as close to my own personal idea of a Chinese torture as it can get EVEN THOUGH I can’t seem to remember a thing about it.”

“Andrew W(an)K is not a talented man. But I’m voting for Dido, cos her music is frankly gruelling.”

“I’ve made a decision to vote EVERY TIME, but neither of these acts are awful. I mean AWK is silly and Dido is nice, which is a turn off to many (as Alexei Sayle used to say, only biscuits should be nice, not pop/rock stars).
In the end I prefer AWK cos I like silly (I am a Helen Love fan) so ner.
I fully expect whoever goes through to be knocked out in the next round. This could be my first vote where I’m not with the majority.”
“I think “Here With Me” is lovely. Everything else is shit. And fuck you Eminem for foisting her on the world. Andrew WK, on the other hand, deserves to be hung, drawn and quartered. Not in that order, though.”

“I voted for AWK purely because I don’t fancy him, but Dido is cute. The music? both are shite really so it had to come down to fanciability.”

“my god! has the cranberries gone trip hop lite?”

“Andrew WK is a bit annoying yeah, but Dido’s music is the type of music they put on in dentist’s offices to torture people in the waiting room. I would rather pull all of my teeth out with pliers than listen to her sickly sweet, overprocessed, coffee commercial music.”

“This was a hard decision. Andrew WK is worse I think, having heard one song that was rather insipid shouting over a pub piano and guitars tune, I say him.”

“I’d let Dido lick me… Can’t say the same for that Andrew WK bastard.”