Hank Shocklee Seen Outside Def Jam Offices: “Will Produce Thundering Wall Of Sound For Food.”

Terminally out of step, Chuck D and his attendant hangers on (I wonder if they still call themselves the “Security of the First World” post 9-11) have announced a contest allowing scrawny white boys with a copy of ProTools the world over the chance to produce the new (old) P.E. record. As if that wasn’t goofy enough, the secondary hook is that they are old songs; every week starting in July, they’re going to post newly recorded vocals for classic Public Enemy tracks to their website for then renovation. Spake the Righteous Thunder himself: “We want to hear everything from electronica to metal, slack-key to Brazilian jazz, even bluegrass and country,” and “the Motowns, STAX, Atlantic, Chess, SUN, and even the early rap labels Enjoy, Profile, Tommy Boy and yes Sugarhill’ rode on the spontaneity of cutting sounds, on what was happening right then on the street, and getting it back out.” What do you wanna guess they’re all gonna sound like a. The Neptunes, b. Public Enemy records, c. DJ Shadow, or d. Kid606-style plunderphonia?

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to my reworking of “Terminator X Speaks With His Hands.”