JANET JACKSON (featuring Missy Elliott) — “Son of a Gun (Remix)”
PINK — “Get This Party Started”

Once upon a time, a footloose and fancy-free Janet whimsically daydreamed about that special someone in the bar with the funky car, while Pink was a poor lass kicking deadbeat ass to the curb. Now I R in Bizarro World, because Ms. Jackson (yes, I’m nasty) is having a grand old time playing good cop / bad cop with Missy, a slipperly lava-like bassline, and some poor fella trying to skim some cream off of that ridiculously defined six-pack. She’s never sounded better — even the Carly Simon sample can’t be denied. (It’s easier without Carly – sounding much too much like Janet’s brother for my taste – crying about the cream in her vendi latte over some half-baked Medeski, Martin & Wood ‘funk’ organ.) Meanwhile, Ms. Pink is looking quite blonde nowadays, and she’s the better for it. Washing those men right out of her hair leaves her head in the clouds and her feet scampering all across the dance floor. C&C Music Factory started the party quickly, but Pink’s Day-Glo production gets the party started right.