POP-EYE U.S. 10/24

hi-ho, and welcome to what may be, could be, very likely will be a regular feature contributed by yours truly as a counterpart to tom’s synopsis of the u.k. singles chart. here in america, there’s less turnover — i mean, for God’s sake, there are a handful of tracks in this country that have topped the charts for 15 weeks or so each — and, let’s face it, singles mean very little in the grand scheme of things. for example, sisqo’s “the thong song” hit number 3, without benefit of a single, but his “incomplete” topped the charts. why? because there was a mix of “the thong song” on the b-side. now, i dare you, sing a few bars of “incomplete” for me. by comparison, the brits actually wager on what will be the christmas number one: then again, what won’t they bet on? outside of mariah carey and her ego — one which, incidentally, is nearly as large as her frame these days — i’d reckon that no artist even cares about a number one single anymore. with that enthusiastic lead-in, let’s dive into the charts shall we?

there’s been absolutely no change whatsoever in the top 5 this week. for whatever reason, christina aguilera’s dull, dull, super-dull, “come on over baby” continues to top the charts. madonna hangs around even more inexplicably at number 2 with “music,” though she got her number one, so i doubt she even cares anymore good luck selling that next single, though, the unmemorable “don’t tell me”: of course, this comes from the man who said that “music” would be her lowest charting first single ever. *coughs*

creed have corporate rocked their way to number three and are holding tight with “arms open wide”. say what you want about the pearl-jam-goes-power-ballad “higher,” but at least it was catchy. 3 doors down remain the highest-ranked album cut with “kryptonite” which asks, “if i went crazy now would you still call me superman?” well, for evidence, look at superman 3: even though, as a result of richard pryor’s machinations, superman turned evil, they still called him superman, they would just say, “wow, that superman sure is evil!” if you’re wondering about the song itself, well, to put it into perspective, superman 3 is infinitely more interesting. rounding out the top 5 is pink’s “most girls,” a bit of a surprise. oh, it’s better than anything in the top 5, but i’d gone and relegated pink to the one-hit wonder bin but here she is again: “most girls” is jagged r&b/pop with a rising chorus: solid if not spectacular.

this week’s greatest gainer in sales comes in the form of irish singer, samantha mumba. her single, “gotta tell you,” jumped ten spots to the tenth spot. it was helped, doubtlessly, by the sticker the record company placed on the single, essentially saying, “this is that one song that goes ‘don’t wanna love you if you don’t love me, etc.'” i like it quite a bit, particularly the way the (presumably) synth strings are arranged during the chorus: often times, it’s the little things, like this, that make all the difference. destiny’s child’s “independent women, part i” was the greatest gainer in airplay, jumping jumping the song from 23 to 15. *coughs* like the movie that spawned it, charlie’s angels, i’m not really anticipating the sequels. and, finally, janet jackson’s “doesn’t really matter” suffered the biggest fall-off, going from number 8 to 20. the song was pleasant janet fill-in-the-gap material, a la “runaway,” and it’s quick fall from the top of the charts should be troublesome to janet: it doesn’t seem like the fans are really clamoring for new material. but does it really matter to janet? and will christina aguilera hold on to her top spot? will there be any movement in the top 5 next week? answers to these questions and a lot more in the next edition of pop-eye on the u.s.!

pink – “most girls” (5)
destiny’s child – “jumpin’ jumpin'” (6)
samantha mumba – “gotta tell you” (10)
nelly – “(hot sh*t) country grammar” (12)
mystikal – “shake ya ass” (13)